tumblndice: I can only pray this really happened.
Nobody worth talking to actually watches Nancy Grace, so we will never know. How about those turtles trying to do it, though, huh?
Mr. Banality drawing attention to the turtle humping compels me to share a personal favorite story of mine:
Couple years back, walking through a pet store—why not—we heard this loud, screeching, straining, hissing sound emanating from the reptile area. Hoping something was feeding our about to be fed, I made haste. To my surprise, I found the source of the sound and it was a kiddie pool that housed two tortoises—maybe a foot or two around, so decent sized. And yes, you guessed it, they were just completely going to town. It looked a lot like that video, with one just mounted all up on the other’s shell—doggy/turtle style—and holy jesus was that little fucker thrusting. And screaming. Passion just oozed out of that kiddie pool. I felt like I was truly witnessing a very intimate moment.
And to cap the entire experience, of course, a mother with her two grade-school-aged kids walked by and the children were just filled to the brim with puzzlement and delight. “What are they doing, mommy?” “Look! That turtle is trying to climb over the other one.” “Is he hurt? Why is it making that noise?”
Hot, nasty tortoise fucking, what a great day.
